19 Comments
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Lou's avatar

I hear you! I am way older and time goes faster and faster! I was a single mom for a while, you can do this! I am a grandma and I worry about my grandchildren’s future. We are so headed in the wrong direction right now! I’m not sure what we can do, but maybe ride out the storm and try to come out on the other side with a good heart ❤️. One day at a time! Know that there are many people who are not as evil as those who are trying to destroy our democracy.

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Hi Lou! Thank you for the encouragement. 🩵 I hear you. It’s scary out there. Raising kind, empathetic, intelligent children is my largest form of protest right now. One day at a time is absolutely right. 🩵

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Heartfelt Boundaries's avatar

Yes—one day at a time! Thanks for this! 💜

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Leah Tarleton's avatar

This was very stirring to read. I'm very sorry for how your concerns and health struggles were overlooked for years. I see this quite often with the women and mothers I work with through in my work as a dietitian. Many come to me desperate to lose weight, believing this is the solution to all of their health challenges after what they've been told repeatedly. Yet, they are barely hanging on metabolically often due to underlying, undiagnosed thyroid, hormonal and reproductive health issues. As a result of being told to lose weight constantly, they are often deeply undernourished. I've noticed this issue is especially intense for mothers and those with trauma histories. It's truly enraging and heartbreaking how women, especially the most sensitive among us, are failed by systems that are supposed to steward our health. It's beautiful to see the transformation when these women are finally heard, validated and guided toward compassionate solutions. Thanks for bringing attention to this through your personal experience. It's so needed. 💗

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Thank you, Leah, for the work you do in supporting and guiding us toward those compassionate solutions. I so appreciate you sharing your observations and experiences. 🩵 I’ve witnessed the same with many of the women I know. We shouldn’t have to be skinny to be heard, and even then, I’ve been told I’m too young to be experiencing the symptoms I’m experiencing. Like, I know!! why do you think I’m here?! I think the pressure to be thin/lose weight is intentional. It’s hard to fight oppression if you’re starving. 🫤

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Leah Tarleton's avatar

Exactly. How can we step into our power and fight back if we're fixated on shrinking down and under-fueling our bodies? It's all intentional the way these systems are designed. Not to say doctors and health professionals know they are doing it (maybe some do), but its just part of how we've structured healthcare and train healthcare professionals. That part about being told you're too young? I hear that kind of thing often too. It comes across as a form of gaslighting the patient out of their lived experience so that nothing need be done about it. It's just not okay.

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

I absolutely agree. 🩵

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Heartfelt Boundaries's avatar

It’s sad that so many with trauma history are also the once that have health issues! The body remembers! I shared a post on this and emotional abuse.

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MV's avatar

I too was a single mom. I want to tell you I am proud of you for being a strong loving mom. We always have this misconception that we have to be perfect, perfect mom, perfect body, perfect knowledge on how our body functions or rather should function. The thing is, we can pe perfectly unperfect and our children see us with grace. All they need is to know we are always there when they need to fall back on us. Enjoy your lovely family. Once they grow up, time doesn't rewind. Sending you applause. Keep going, no matter what the political temperature is, Americans know how to make it, even when are backed up against a wall. We know what freedom really is.

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Thank you, MV. Thank you so much. I struggle with perfectionism and hold myself to standards I don't hold others to. I catch myself in either/or thinking; that I can't soak it in or enjoy it, because there's so much trauma to heal from. My kids aren't getting the childhood they deserve, and it makes me feel like I'm failing. Thank you for this reminder that what I can give them is enough. 🩵

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Heartfelt Boundaries's avatar

Aww love this positivity! Beautiful!! 💛

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Leah Tarleton's avatar

This was incredibly stirring to read. I’m so sorry your concerns and health struggles were overlooked for so long. Sadly, I see this far too often in my work as a dietitian, especially among women and mothers.

Many come to me desperate to lose weight, believing it's the answer to their health challenges—because that’s what they’ve been told, again and again. But beneath the surface, they’re often metabolically depleted, suffering from undiagnosed thyroid, hormonal, or reproductive issues. And because they've been conditioned and ordered by their doctors to restrict and shrink themselves, many are deeply undernourished. They feel like failures because they "can't lose the weight" AND they're suffering.

This pattern is especially intense for mothers who are exhausted and those with trauma histories who often struggle to advocate for themselves. It’s truly enraging and heartbreaking how our systems continue to fail women—especially the most sensitive among us—when it comes to genuine, compassionate care.

It’s so powerful to witness what happens when these women are finally heard, validated, and supported with real nourishment and holistic healing. Thank you for sharing your experience and bringing visibility to this reality. It’s so needed. 💗

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Thank you for sharing these powerful insights and observations. 🩵💔

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Alys Hedd's avatar

It's so frustrating to be shouting that you know something is wrong, medically, and your voice just disappears into the abyss 😫 I can totally empathise with that. I hate going to see the Dr, I always feel like I've been done over - not much mates me feel smaller and more stupid, even though I know I'm not, they just have a way of making you feel it. Medical gaslighting to add to the list.

Your words are strength and I hope you feel that when you write, especially when things are so tough. You don't have to enjoy it all, it is hard, and I'm sure you have moments of joy with your children that are more than enough to nourish you all. It doesn't have to be constant x

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Yes! Going to the doctor sends me into survival mode now. I understand they’re the experts, but I’m the one who lives inside this body every single day.

I find so much joy in my children! I just also get caught up in shame spirals because part of me still blames myself for not leaving sooner, and I hate that they haven’t gotten the best version of me. It’s the part of me that still holds myself to perfectionist standards that I don’t hold anyone else to. And lately I’ve been so stressed about money. I can’t afford childcare on my own and there’s no way my ex will pay his portion of it. He thinks the child support he already pays is all he should have to pay, even though that leaves me with 2/3 of daycare costs, which are between 3200-3800 per month for two children. If I go back to teaching I’ll only make 3200/month after taxes and that’s with no health insurance. I know I’ll find a way forward I just have no idea what it is right now, and the uncertainty is really hard.

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Alys Hedd's avatar

That all sounds so difficult ❤️ I'm sorry you're going through that

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Thank you 🩵

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Heartfelt Boundaries's avatar

You’ve share so much and so beautifully. Thank you! I hear you on chronic health issues and parenting and all the facets of just living here. I really loved reading this and was a lovely read. 💙

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Rachel G's avatar

Hi Sarah, Totally hear you on the state of this country, it’s so disheartening. I’ve also struggled with thyroid disease my entire adult life, starting in my 20s, so definitely relate to the hormone stuff. Being a mom of littles with perimenopause (I had my kids in late 30s/early 40s after a divorce in my early 30s) has been an adventure for sure. There is no easy season to parent young or older kids! Much love to you. 💕

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