I empathize with you. It's almost the same story as mine. My mom's actually! These shitty people can't take your peace and your joy. My advice? Keep your kids as far away from that drunk as you can. He's really bad for them. Extremely bad. They are better off without a dad than a dad who is a threat to their lives.🤧
I am so sorry you and your mom experienced this pain as well.
I am doing what I can to protect my children, despite a legal system that doesn’t care. I tried to take protective measures to force him to prove he isn’t drinking around the kids, but the legal system said I would have to pay for it myself, and that the cost would be $300 a month. As a single mom, I cannot afford that.
Fortunately his time with them is already limited, and he doesn’t even take ½ his time anyway. Which on one hand is good, because it’s less time my children are exposed to an abusive drunk and the toxic people around him, but on the other, an inconsistent father is worse than an absent one.
I’m doing everything I can to protect my babies, believe me.
Thank you for sharing and engaging meaningfully here. 🩷
The number of times I had to stop and breathe through this…? I can’t remember, there were loads. I also had HG, one of the most debilitating conditions I’ve ever experienced, I can’t even begin to document the sheer neglect of the other parent.
I’m so so sorry you had to endure those individuals, they could have made your pregnancies easier , but no… enablers are the pits!
HG freaking sucks. I can’t remember if I included that his aunt told me I needed to get over myself and put my mind over matter and just suck it up. That’s not how science works, Leigh.
Yes, that part in your story I had to read twice. I scoffed and swore at her several times… like, wtf?? I would rather have a caesarean with no epidural than go through that again? I was hospitalised and off work and couldn’t eat anything but green apples for 10 weeks! But I should have just sucked it up, huh? 🤯
Exactly!! On a bad day with my first, I could pike 30-40 times. On a good day, 5-10. I threw up less with my son, but the debilitating nausea and fatigue persisted the whole pregnancy. I couldn’t stomach food, water made me sick, all I could do was lay there. And I was still primary caretaker for our 1 year old and expected to cook and do all the chores.
But yeah, we should have just “gotten over it.” How dare we rest. Lazy women. 🤦🏼♀️
There have been some similar family and in-law situations in my extended family. I too lived through a verbally and sexually abusive marriage (that I’m just starting to wade into in my writing). I’m so sorry you have had to go through this experience. cPTSD and alcoholism are awful. Gaslighting and verbal abuse are horrible and can tear a person apart. Stay safe psychologically and know you are not alone. 💓
Thank you, Rachel. I'm sorry you experienced this as well, but I'm glad we can connect and share and support each other. I just shared my most vulnerable post yet (and also my longest) and I went into detail on the sexual abuse I've lived through. I feel incredibly vulnerable; I just bared my soul for everyone to read, but this is exactly why I write-- so we can connect and know we are not alone. I'm proud of you for getting out, and for reclaiming your voice and your life story. I know how daunting that is. 🫶🏼
Thank you, Mayly. The pettiness is next level for sure. Makes me grateful my ex is so absent and that they live far away, protecting my children from exposure to that.
What a dreadful situation - you deserved better. I am glad that you got to speak with the grandmother, albeit briefly. And I’m glad the dickhead’s father treated you with respect. And the story about your son’s conception? That should be a post on its own! How lucky your son is that he has a mother who loves him so much - two lucky people. 💚
Maybe there’s a silver lining— the horrible way some of them have acted have just shown me that I made the right choice, and I’m grateful I don’t have to see them.
April is sexual assault awareness month, and I do plan to write a post about those experiences, but I have been scared to share too much, because it’s a heavy topic.
My children are the light of my life, the reason I want to pull my hair out some days, and why I get up every day and keep going. All of this— the heartbreak, the uncertainty, the healing— has been for them; to fight for them, to protect them, to raise them better, because they deserve so much better than how he treated us. We are all lucky to have each other. 🩷
I am extremely blessed to have my children, yes. Thank you for kind words. I appreciate you so much.
You’re so right about family dynamics, and it becomes even more complex when you factor in divorce and emotional immaturity. I have been holding space for these feelings and being extra gentle with myself.
As painful as it was, it was also validation that I made the right choice in divorcing my ex— if his family chooses to be that toxic, I’m glad I don’t have to be around them, and that my children don’t either.
I’m grateful to have a support system that has leaned in and created a safety net for me. I love the idea of a walk and talk, reconnecting with nature.
I pray that you can continue to grow into your personal power. You got out; that's the main thing!
My experience is so similar to yours, and I remember how shocked I was when my ex's family closed ranks against me. But then again, I was the one so desperate for their approval; for everyone's approval in those days.
There's freedom on the other side of this! Thank you for sharing your story. nora ann.
I empathize with you. It's almost the same story as mine. My mom's actually! These shitty people can't take your peace and your joy. My advice? Keep your kids as far away from that drunk as you can. He's really bad for them. Extremely bad. They are better off without a dad than a dad who is a threat to their lives.🤧
Anigboro,
I am so sorry you and your mom experienced this pain as well.
I am doing what I can to protect my children, despite a legal system that doesn’t care. I tried to take protective measures to force him to prove he isn’t drinking around the kids, but the legal system said I would have to pay for it myself, and that the cost would be $300 a month. As a single mom, I cannot afford that.
Fortunately his time with them is already limited, and he doesn’t even take ½ his time anyway. Which on one hand is good, because it’s less time my children are exposed to an abusive drunk and the toxic people around him, but on the other, an inconsistent father is worse than an absent one.
I’m doing everything I can to protect my babies, believe me.
Thank you for sharing and engaging meaningfully here. 🩷
The number of times I had to stop and breathe through this…? I can’t remember, there were loads. I also had HG, one of the most debilitating conditions I’ve ever experienced, I can’t even begin to document the sheer neglect of the other parent.
I’m so so sorry you had to endure those individuals, they could have made your pregnancies easier , but no… enablers are the pits!
Sending yet another huge hug 🫂 🤍
HG freaking sucks. I can’t remember if I included that his aunt told me I needed to get over myself and put my mind over matter and just suck it up. That’s not how science works, Leigh.
I’m sorry you had this experience too.
Yes, that part in your story I had to read twice. I scoffed and swore at her several times… like, wtf?? I would rather have a caesarean with no epidural than go through that again? I was hospitalised and off work and couldn’t eat anything but green apples for 10 weeks! But I should have just sucked it up, huh? 🤯
Exactly!! On a bad day with my first, I could pike 30-40 times. On a good day, 5-10. I threw up less with my son, but the debilitating nausea and fatigue persisted the whole pregnancy. I couldn’t stomach food, water made me sick, all I could do was lay there. And I was still primary caretaker for our 1 year old and expected to cook and do all the chores.
But yeah, we should have just “gotten over it.” How dare we rest. Lazy women. 🤦🏼♀️
I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But we survived, now we learn how to thrive, despite their daggers 🤍
There have been some similar family and in-law situations in my extended family. I too lived through a verbally and sexually abusive marriage (that I’m just starting to wade into in my writing). I’m so sorry you have had to go through this experience. cPTSD and alcoholism are awful. Gaslighting and verbal abuse are horrible and can tear a person apart. Stay safe psychologically and know you are not alone. 💓
Thank you, Rachel. I'm sorry you experienced this as well, but I'm glad we can connect and share and support each other. I just shared my most vulnerable post yet (and also my longest) and I went into detail on the sexual abuse I've lived through. I feel incredibly vulnerable; I just bared my soul for everyone to read, but this is exactly why I write-- so we can connect and know we are not alone. I'm proud of you for getting out, and for reclaiming your voice and your life story. I know how daunting that is. 🫶🏼
This is a crazy story, my heart goes out to you. It’s so hard to navigate with crazy family drama!!
Thank you, Mayly. The pettiness is next level for sure. Makes me grateful my ex is so absent and that they live far away, protecting my children from exposure to that.
What a dreadful situation - you deserved better. I am glad that you got to speak with the grandmother, albeit briefly. And I’m glad the dickhead’s father treated you with respect. And the story about your son’s conception? That should be a post on its own! How lucky your son is that he has a mother who loves him so much - two lucky people. 💚
Thank you, Don.
Maybe there’s a silver lining— the horrible way some of them have acted have just shown me that I made the right choice, and I’m grateful I don’t have to see them.
April is sexual assault awareness month, and I do plan to write a post about those experiences, but I have been scared to share too much, because it’s a heavy topic.
My children are the light of my life, the reason I want to pull my hair out some days, and why I get up every day and keep going. All of this— the heartbreak, the uncertainty, the healing— has been for them; to fight for them, to protect them, to raise them better, because they deserve so much better than how he treated us. We are all lucky to have each other. 🩷
I do believe you are blessed to have your children and can continue to lead by example .
I think you did a wonderful job of accepting the situation for what it was .
Please take your self care however far you have to to be well in your life .
Family dynamics can be extremely difficult when there are so many emotions involved .
A massage or a good walk and talk with a friend Be Well
Hi Teddy,
I am extremely blessed to have my children, yes. Thank you for kind words. I appreciate you so much.
You’re so right about family dynamics, and it becomes even more complex when you factor in divorce and emotional immaturity. I have been holding space for these feelings and being extra gentle with myself.
As painful as it was, it was also validation that I made the right choice in divorcing my ex— if his family chooses to be that toxic, I’m glad I don’t have to be around them, and that my children don’t either.
I’m grateful to have a support system that has leaned in and created a safety net for me. I love the idea of a walk and talk, reconnecting with nature.
Thank you for your suggestions 🩷
I pray that you can continue to grow into your personal power. You got out; that's the main thing!
My experience is so similar to yours, and I remember how shocked I was when my ex's family closed ranks against me. But then again, I was the one so desperate for their approval; for everyone's approval in those days.
There's freedom on the other side of this! Thank you for sharing your story. nora ann.
Nora Ann,
You said it exactly right. I was desperate for their approval, for their acceptance. Not anymore, but the echo of it still hurts.
Enablers will continue to enable, unfortunately.
We did get out, and we wont ever let anyone take our power again.
Thank you for sharing and for the encouragement. I appreciate you more than I can express. 🩷
Not 100% my story, but close enough so my heart is breaking for you 💔
Thank you Karen, for sitting with me in my grief. 🩷