I’ve been trying to write something like this for a while but it never feels right, so I scrap it. You’ve pulled the words out of me, and I’m sure many others, sharing so perfectly how I feel while healing.
Sending love to you and your children, may you be blessed more and more on the journey 🤍
I am loathe to "give advice", and your experiences resonate with me deeply. It sounds to me like your energy is being lost to a psychic cord connecting to your abuser. If you would like that that cut/dissolved/ removed, the Universe will send you someone who knows how to do that, with your permission.
If this is inappropriate, please ignore. I see too much sometimes! Love to you on your journey. nora ann.
Healing does take a lot of energy. I’m still learning how to set and hold boundaries, and the wounds that my ex inflicted do cost energy to heal. I would love to completely cut myself free from him, but we share two children, so I don’t know how realistic that is.
I have been slowly disentangling myself and will continue to do so, and trust that the way forward will continue to make itself clear to me.
Cutting a spiritual cord does not mean you can't have a relationship with them. But it does keep your prana/Chi from being lost whenever you think about or talk to the person. You'll be stronger to do the work of healing the neurons from the trauma. I know leaving an abusive relationship is hard and takes time! You want to hold on to your vital energy as much as possible. That's all, I will be praying for you in your healing.
I can so resonate with the drive behind the ‘yes, and’ in relation to my younger years and it’s effects in the present day. The small things makes life so beautiful and worth continuing, even when there’s a grey cloud looming somewhere💗Thanks for sharing your own journey! Definitely a reflective one for us all
Thank you, Jessica! I love that you mentioned grey clouds. I don’t know if it’s my midwestern mama rubbing off on me (she loves the grey), but lately I’ve been admiring the beauty in those grey clouds. It reminds me of my full humanity; in the beauty of feeling and acknowledging the pain instead of trying to lock it away and never think about it.
As you said before, trauma + metaphor = …healing? (Or something like that 😂)
I have done similar, and I think it might have even been to you.
I was trying to check something (I don’t even remember what, maybe trying to see if I could manage my subscription) and it unsubscribed me completely. Horrified and embarrassed, I immediately smacked the subscribe button again and prayed that you wouldn’t notice 😂😂
If it’s any consolation, it didn’t alert me to tell me you had resubscribed, so I didn’t even know 🤣
You already know what I think about some people who have treated you with contempt. Don’t worry. I will be gladly be your anger translator and you will never have to apologize to them. You can’t control what others think, say, or do. So, you keep going high. It’s noble. I do it in my own life.
However, sometimes, it sure does feel good when someone online “uncontrollably” says something slightly inappropriate that your noble heart can’t type.
I had a new-ish girlfriend ask to see a photo of my ex last week, and I flipped through a few of us over the years on my iPhone.
She looked at me with total disbelief and said, “You know he’s ugly, right? You were with this ugly ass dude for 7 years? This guy? Does he even own a mirror?”
She’s a very direct person, but also extremely genuine. She calls a spade a spade. I was so isolated from everyone by him for so long, that she was just stating the obvious: I had forgotten how good it feels when someone brings in a bit of objectivity. And, ugly is ugly, sometimes. 😉🫶🏻
He could be attractive when he took care of himself, but he usually lounged around a bathrobe for days on end, didn’t maintain basic hygiene, and couldn’t understand how that was a turn off to me. And the worse my ex treated me, the less appealing he got to me. Like the ugliness inside him spread to the outside. Reeking of booze 95% of the time didn’t help either.
What strikes me the most when I look back at old pictures though, is how gaunt and unhappy *I* look. How the light had left my eyes and every smile seemed sad. I’m so grateful to have that spark back.
I’ve been trying to write something like this for a while but it never feels right, so I scrap it. You’ve pulled the words out of me, and I’m sure many others, sharing so perfectly how I feel while healing.
Sending love to you and your children, may you be blessed more and more on the journey 🤍
Thank you— I’ve definitely felt like that when I’ve read things others have written. I’m grateful I could return the favor. 🩵
I am loathe to "give advice", and your experiences resonate with me deeply. It sounds to me like your energy is being lost to a psychic cord connecting to your abuser. If you would like that that cut/dissolved/ removed, the Universe will send you someone who knows how to do that, with your permission.
If this is inappropriate, please ignore. I see too much sometimes! Love to you on your journey. nora ann.
I’m glad my writing resonated with you.
Healing does take a lot of energy. I’m still learning how to set and hold boundaries, and the wounds that my ex inflicted do cost energy to heal. I would love to completely cut myself free from him, but we share two children, so I don’t know how realistic that is.
I have been slowly disentangling myself and will continue to do so, and trust that the way forward will continue to make itself clear to me.
Thank you 🩵
Cutting a spiritual cord does not mean you can't have a relationship with them. But it does keep your prana/Chi from being lost whenever you think about or talk to the person. You'll be stronger to do the work of healing the neurons from the trauma. I know leaving an abusive relationship is hard and takes time! You want to hold on to your vital energy as much as possible. That's all, I will be praying for you in your healing.
Thank you— I appreciate it 🫶🏻✨
I can so resonate with the drive behind the ‘yes, and’ in relation to my younger years and it’s effects in the present day. The small things makes life so beautiful and worth continuing, even when there’s a grey cloud looming somewhere💗Thanks for sharing your own journey! Definitely a reflective one for us all
Thank you, Jessica! I love that you mentioned grey clouds. I don’t know if it’s my midwestern mama rubbing off on me (she loves the grey), but lately I’ve been admiring the beauty in those grey clouds. It reminds me of my full humanity; in the beauty of feeling and acknowledging the pain instead of trying to lock it away and never think about it.
As you said before, trauma + metaphor = …healing? (Or something like that 😂)
Btw. I’ve been subscribed this entire time…I just accidentally unsubscribed today and idk how it happened🤣
I have done similar, and I think it might have even been to you.
I was trying to check something (I don’t even remember what, maybe trying to see if I could manage my subscription) and it unsubscribed me completely. Horrified and embarrassed, I immediately smacked the subscribe button again and prayed that you wouldn’t notice 😂😂
If it’s any consolation, it didn’t alert me to tell me you had resubscribed, so I didn’t even know 🤣
“Yes, and…” what a perfect capturing of life with trauma. 🙌 Thank you for sharing your journey. 🧡
I’m so glad it resonated with you. 🩵
You already know what I think about some people who have treated you with contempt. Don’t worry. I will be gladly be your anger translator and you will never have to apologize to them. You can’t control what others think, say, or do. So, you keep going high. It’s noble. I do it in my own life.
However, sometimes, it sure does feel good when someone online “uncontrollably” says something slightly inappropriate that your noble heart can’t type.
I had a new-ish girlfriend ask to see a photo of my ex last week, and I flipped through a few of us over the years on my iPhone.
She looked at me with total disbelief and said, “You know he’s ugly, right? You were with this ugly ass dude for 7 years? This guy? Does he even own a mirror?”
She’s a very direct person, but also extremely genuine. She calls a spade a spade. I was so isolated from everyone by him for so long, that she was just stating the obvious: I had forgotten how good it feels when someone brings in a bit of objectivity. And, ugly is ugly, sometimes. 😉🫶🏻
I like your friend. 😂🩵
Some of mine have expressed similar sentiments.
He could be attractive when he took care of himself, but he usually lounged around a bathrobe for days on end, didn’t maintain basic hygiene, and couldn’t understand how that was a turn off to me. And the worse my ex treated me, the less appealing he got to me. Like the ugliness inside him spread to the outside. Reeking of booze 95% of the time didn’t help either.
What strikes me the most when I look back at old pictures though, is how gaunt and unhappy *I* look. How the light had left my eyes and every smile seemed sad. I’m so grateful to have that spark back.