Thank you so much. I really appreciate your support. It is important. Important enough to override my fear and to share some of the darkest parts of my life, if it will just help someone else.
Thank you so much. It feels like if I don’t get it out, it will consume me, so I don’t know if that’s really strength, maybe it is. It’s terrifying being so vulnerable, but we need to talk about these things, to educate, or it’s going to continue.
With the researched, vulnerable, passionate, and vital points you made, what stuck out to me as underreported in the research is the idea that incomplete/inaccurate sex education can keep young women from understanding the full story about their bodies, sex, relationships, coercion, and abuse. What I see in my practice is that women get locked into partnerships with abusive men because it was not clear they were abusive until they got married. The understanding of what is healthy, mutual, and equally satisfying is not often taught in a real way. IF it is taught well, the lack of experience in relationships or the idea that they have to "wait" makes them prey for getting into abusive marriages quickly and/or young age. Once married, it becomes that much harder to escape the abuse. Divorce, children, unhealthy religiosity, expectations, minimization, isolation... keep them stuck. Additional advocacy, teaching, open conversations, and female mentorship are so important. Thank you for sharing this nuanced understanding, which only someone who's been through it can fully grasp.
Yes, absolutely this. You said it so eloquently. It is underreported and I’m going to delve into it in another essay, where I’m going to talk about how societal norms, especially those within religion, funnel girls and young women into marriage and motherhood, where they are often exploited and abused. It’s a pipeline, and you’re right that it’s hard to recognize if you haven’t lived through it.
Pipeline is the right word, and it's terrifying to think about... not all of course--but for the ones aiming to exploit, this context is fertile ground.
I fear that even when it isn’t the intention, that most churches reinforce these toxic beliefs. Because they are so prevalent where I live, anything other than purposeful counteraction is silent complicity.
I sure hope so, Tracy. It’s a horribly uncomfortable topic, and something that has taken me a long time to find words for… and I’m still finding the right words.. but it needs to be said! Thank you for reading. 🩵
I am so incredibly sorry that he did that to you, and that none of those people helped you. It is not your fault. Thank you so much for writing this piece and sharing your story. It is incredibly important.
Sending lots of love and healing energy your way.
You are amazing. The realizations you have made and the ways you have improved your life deserve celebration. Your children are lucky to have you.
Wow. Thank you for sharing and pulling in these statistics! More people need to hear all this - such an important topic to bring to light💙
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your support. It is important. Important enough to override my fear and to share some of the darkest parts of my life, if it will just help someone else.
The world needs more people like you who are strong enough to share their story. Thank you.
Thank you so much. It feels like if I don’t get it out, it will consume me, so I don’t know if that’s really strength, maybe it is. It’s terrifying being so vulnerable, but we need to talk about these things, to educate, or it’s going to continue.
That’s exactly how I felt reading this, too! 💙
With the researched, vulnerable, passionate, and vital points you made, what stuck out to me as underreported in the research is the idea that incomplete/inaccurate sex education can keep young women from understanding the full story about their bodies, sex, relationships, coercion, and abuse. What I see in my practice is that women get locked into partnerships with abusive men because it was not clear they were abusive until they got married. The understanding of what is healthy, mutual, and equally satisfying is not often taught in a real way. IF it is taught well, the lack of experience in relationships or the idea that they have to "wait" makes them prey for getting into abusive marriages quickly and/or young age. Once married, it becomes that much harder to escape the abuse. Divorce, children, unhealthy religiosity, expectations, minimization, isolation... keep them stuck. Additional advocacy, teaching, open conversations, and female mentorship are so important. Thank you for sharing this nuanced understanding, which only someone who's been through it can fully grasp.
Yes, absolutely this. You said it so eloquently. It is underreported and I’m going to delve into it in another essay, where I’m going to talk about how societal norms, especially those within religion, funnel girls and young women into marriage and motherhood, where they are often exploited and abused. It’s a pipeline, and you’re right that it’s hard to recognize if you haven’t lived through it.
Pipeline is the right word, and it's terrifying to think about... not all of course--but for the ones aiming to exploit, this context is fertile ground.
I fear that even when it isn’t the intention, that most churches reinforce these toxic beliefs. Because they are so prevalent where I live, anything other than purposeful counteraction is silent complicity.
This was raw and powerful. Thank you for putting into words what many feel. You are helping.
I sure hope so, Tracy. It’s a horribly uncomfortable topic, and something that has taken me a long time to find words for… and I’m still finding the right words.. but it needs to be said! Thank you for reading. 🩵
Excellent post. Thank you for continuing to bring awareness.
Thank you for reading and engaging, Don! You are helping me reach more people. I appreciate your support!
“it’s more acceptable to be a rapist than it is to be a woman “ this I felt in my gut! What a powerful phrase! And it is so true!
It is unsettlingly true. Thank you for reading
Well written, well researched, well said.
Congratulations on reclaiming your life and your fearlessness in bringing these things to light
Thank you, Leslie. I appreciate you 🩵
I am so incredibly sorry that he did that to you, and that none of those people helped you. It is not your fault. Thank you so much for writing this piece and sharing your story. It is incredibly important.
Sending lots of love and healing energy your way.
You are amazing. The realizations you have made and the ways you have improved your life deserve celebration. Your children are lucky to have you.
Thank you, Freema. It’s an uncomfortable topic, but an unfortunately necessary one.
I will treasure your words, truly. Your support means so much to me. 🥺
Love right back to you 🩷