21 Comments
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Faith Scott's avatar

It is absolutely time...it has long been...this is so powerful and gives voice to so many...so good my friend.

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Thank you so much. It's an important topic for sure. So many women (and others who were socialized as girls/women) experience this, and it's not okay. Praising the bare minimum only serves to lower the bar for men, and the bar is already so low it's a tavern in hades. Praising below the bar as a means to encourage the treatment we want is also problematic, because again, it lowers the bar, and also, we're not rehabilitation centers for underdeveloped, poorly raised men.

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Jessica Mills's avatar

This poem speaks such truths! I’m not a parent, but was raised by 2 parents who weren’t ‘really’ parents. I knew so many others who had Dad’s like this as well, but they still seem to be praised for doing he bare minimum🫠Such a bitter pill to swallow

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Thank you. I'm sorry your parents weren't there for you. The double standards are absolutely wild, and they're not even praised for the bare minimum, they're praised for less than! It is a bitter pill for sure. Thank you for reading and engaging. 🫶🏼

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Tamy Faierman M.D.'s avatar

LOvE this calling out misogynistic framing of roles. 👍👌

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Thank you, Tamy. It's long overdue, in my opinion.

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Tamy Faierman M.D.'s avatar

👌👍

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Zophia Apricity's avatar

Damn.... this poem hits. So good. So powerful. Not enough of these blunt words out there in the world yet.

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Thank you, Zophia. I agree that it needs to be talked about more and action needs to be taken, or the bar will remain far too low.

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Rachel G's avatar

Feeling a lot of this… it’s a bitter pill to swallow. Thank you for your words

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

It absolutely is. I used to say it constantly. And then I realized that he wasn’t. He’s not a good dad. He bailed on us. He sees them 1-2X a month if he even takes his parenting time. But we are conditioned to praise less than the bare minimum, thinking that we are praising the behavior trends we want to see, but in actuality we are just lowering the bar for them with our praise. Which is how they want it to be, because all men benefit from worse men.

Thank you for reading and sitting with them, and for sharing your thoughts.

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Voices of Strength's avatar

I personally have not gone through this but I see it in so many of fathers around me, even my own dad if I could be blunt 😞 unfortunately it’s the harsh truth that many go through and there’s no other way to navigate through as a woman

I’d say it’s almost like being a single mom except here you’d still have to fulfil wifely duties as well 😔🤨🥺

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

I was a married single mom, and now I’m an actual single mom, and I would choose being an actual single mom over being his wife every single day

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Voices of Strength's avatar

Amen sister

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Heartfelt Boundaries's avatar

💜

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Christine Edwards's avatar

Yes. Feel this. Thank you for putting it into words for all of us to read and feel seen. <3

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Thank you for reading and sharing. I’m grateful I could help you feel seen. 🩷

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Depth Charge: Weekly Poetry's avatar

Nailed it. 💥

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Thank you 🩷

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V. Walker | Poet's avatar

FACTS. your poetry is *chef's kiss* - you are healing the woman in us.

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Healing Out Loud's avatar

Oh, thank you so much 🥺

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